However, a little more build up to the actual rape would be good. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. Amateur porn Thank you.Anonymous readerReport 2009-05-03 17:40:27Very good…made me cum. I agree with the line break, especially if your next story is longer, it will make it easier to read.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-12 04:49:44it was good. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. I agree with the line break, especially if your next story is longer, it will make it easier to read.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-12 04:49:44it was good. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2009-10-14 10:20:44not bad for a first…shorten the paragraghs..easier to read that way, and please, a little more character development and backgroundAnonymous readerReport 2009-08-25 17:03:32Good story.
