One day my husband left for work early and by that evening he called to say that he wasn’t coming home. The sight of their siblings naked and engaging in intercourse had become accepted. I began to “hang out” with boys after school where I was servicing 4 or 5 at a time. “Come here, and close the door.” I jumped out of bed, straightening myself up. I walked forward. He was just looking at me, a little confused, but you could see the light come on as it dawned on him what I was doing. He had to have heard me with Andrew, and I was counting on it. The truth is I wanted to, but how to proceed?.. Obviously we do it because it makes us feel good, and with your father still gone I’m all alone and so I have to take care of it myself… unlike you boys who get blowjobs every day, I don’t have any…” This time the light bulb went off in my head. I’d notice their bodies and handsome faces the way I’d do with any attractive man I’d see out and about. This had semi-negative unintended consequences. Whenever one of them would approach me and ask to get some, I’d announce it to the rest of the house, “I’m going to be having
