So I never realized he did have feelings for me, he was just hiding them because that’s what I’d told him I wanted. I was doing so many productions, I was worried about damaging my brand, so I cut back on the acting. Amateur porn I didn’t think that being a college student, and then a doctoral student, was sexy for my fans. I may have been wrong about that, there are a lot of my fans find it sexy, who knew? I carried on working while I was at school, though I separated my life into porn and not porn. They might have given me the motivation to carry on, but blending a career in porn and academia would be difficult. Kiki: Yes, I have a doctorate, in particle physics no less. Once the baby was born, I realized it was the best thing that ever happened to me; I wouldn’t be the same person without being a mother. No one realized I was the same person, until I told them.
