You need more segues between events.«1» 5 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-14 20:58:48Nice twist with the sister being a he/she or he a guy raised as a girl. Amateur porn But yeah, don’t switch so much between scenes. You need more segues between events.«1» Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. 5 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-14 20:58:48Nice twist with the sister being a he/she or he a guy raised as a girl. Make the switches new chapters or something.Anonymous readerReport 2008-08-05 03:09:55no no no no… this is just confusing.gayboyReport 2008-06-05 00:45:44its to confusing.i dont know who is whoREADERReport 2007-12-24 12:28:23I loved the first chapter. 5 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-14 20:58:48Nice twist with the sister being a he/she or he a guy raised as a girl. Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. it is ruining the story line… Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. But yeah, don’t switch so much between scenes. this is just confusing.gayboyReport 2008-06-05 00:45:44its to confusing.i dont know who is whoREADERReport 2007-12-24 12:28:23I loved the first chapter. Make the switches new chapters or something.Anonymous readerReport 2008-08-05 03:09:55no no no no…
